Sleep has been more prevalent in my life lately. Sleeping is one of my last resort coping skills. I’ve reached a stage of true micro functionality. My energy is fading.
When I do set upon an activity it is very short lived. Starting a flight only to hit pause or starting to write only to let it collect dust on drive.
I have things I need to be doing.
Being ever cognizant of the fragility of my safety net, I now foresee the eminent failure of the safety net. This possible reality is sobbing and should spring me into quick and decisive action. But, when cornered and out of options I become paralyzed.
Support and validation is proving hard to come by. My thoughts are growing darker and darker.
So many don’t see the stark realities and dismiss my thinking. When will they wake up? More importantly for me, how much can I safely share?
The most practical questions I am asking myself: What conditions are worth enduring? What constitutes a “deal breaker”? When do you make a call?